Happy Halloween

October is one of the nicest months in this part of the world.  Daytime highs are somewhere in the low to mid 80's (Farenheit.  For Centigrade see Google)  At night it plunges to the 70's. There is occasional rain, but nothing too heavy.  If I wasn't working all the time, I would love to be traveling the region.  I'm working a lot, as usual.
We are getting ready to introduce Halloween to the tots here at the kindergarten.  It's a completely alien concept, which takes some adjustments for the different cultures.  For one thing, lots of Chinese people believe in ghosts, so the presence of Halloween ghosts could be traumatic.  I think the folks here may have a low tolerance to what constitutes scary stuff.

I was showing the opening scene to "Nightmare Before Christmas" to some teachers.  There was a look of absolute terror on more than a couple of faces.
So this is going to be more of a cute Halloween.  Kind of like this:

We're doing a party here at school, and the kids are supposed to have costumes.  We'll have Trick or Treating with the kids going to different class rooms for treats, and some games.  The principal wanted songs, and it has taken some effort to convince her that there are really no traditional Halloween songs, except for maybe this:

Driving in China

I've been back in China for four weeks now.  In the seven weeks I have been gone the traffic has gotten even worse.  Our city is adding a thousand new cars every month.  What this means is there is a monthly influx of a thousand rank rookie Chinese drivers hitting the streets in their new wheels in their pursuit of enhanced face.  They muddle along, learning which pedal does what, trying to avoid hitting  each other, all the while, blithely ignorant of even the most rudimentary driving skills— other than horn honking.  Horn honking is something that I think they teach beginning in preschool.  Apparently there is even an advanced offering in the universities.

Meanwhile, Japan and China have been engaged in some serious chest thumping over some barren islands off the coast of China that Japan seems to think they own, but that an international court most likely would determine that they belong to China.  The only reason anyone is even remotely interested in them is because of potential gas and oil reserves there.  That’s also a reason China is trying to claim waters off the coasts of Viet Nam and the Philippines.  Gotta fuel those incompetent drivers in their quest for self esteem.

Owning a car here is a rather expensive, inconvenient pursuit.  The streets suck, fuel and insurance are expensive, cars are expensive to buy relative to income, and there is absolutely nowhere to park.  However, achieving big face is one of the prime directives of Chinese life, and nothing says big face like a big, black, Mercedes Benz. 

Imported cars carry a massive tariff, almost doubling the price of the car, so a BMW is one pricey set of wheels.

The streets are chockablock with cars, weaving around in whatever lane or lanes, honking, randomly stopping, pulling out in front of traffic, turning left from the outside lanes, all in a fruitless pursuit of non existent parking places.  Much time is spent idling in dinky parking lots waiting for someone to leave.  Sidewalks become clogged with parked vehicles, forcing pedestrians to walk in the streets.  Parking is often the ultimate quest, for the following reason:

Very dark window tinting is popular here.  It sort of defeats the purpose conspicuous consumption, since nobody can see you in your very expensive car.   Since the windows are all so dark, nobody can see the insecure rich person, until they emerge from their shiny black albatross.  Look at me, I’m a very successful person!

Periodically one sees a massive black SUV parked in a traffic lane while the owner takes care of whatever business he needs to conduct.  This person has enough clout, or bluster, to feel that others can just work their way around their parked vehicle.

Ten years ago, almost nobody owned a car, but now everybody wants one!  Car ownership in China is craziness on a grand scale.  You haven’t achieved success unless you own a car. 

I wonder how many people will eventually feel buyer’s remorse once the novelty wears off.  How long will it take before sitting in traffic in a fruitless quest for parking reveal itself to be a rotten way to spend one’s precious spare time?  How much effort and work was required to purchase this toy that upon purchase begins to lose its value? 

It seems a hollow goal, to own a car here.  I had a car for decades in the US, and now I’m happy to walk and use cheap taxis to go where I need to go.  It’s liberating.  I wonder when people here will begin to feel the same way?

Back Troubles

I managed to screw my back up a couple of weeks ago.  I’ve had a funky back for quite a number of years.  It has something to do with my sacrum having weakened ligaments.  (The sacrum is where your hip bone is connected to the back bone. Now hear the word of the Lord!)

I had a great chiropractor back in the US, and nobody could match her skills there.  However, I have two great practitioners of Chinese back healing arts that do some great magic at a fraction of the cost.  If I was forced to choose between which country I would live in based on back pain management I would opt for the Middle Kingdom.

I went to my favorite back guy.  Go here to read about him.  He did the usual torturous pokes, then prescribed a traditional herbal concoction.  I then took my prescription to a traditional pharmacy to get it filled.  There are zillions of these places, ranging from funky holes in the wall to modern drug stores with all kinds of modern drugs as well.
The pharmacists weigh and measure each ingredient according to the prescription.  There are barks, twigs, leaves, herbs, insect shells, animal parts, dried fruits, roots, and Buddha knows what else.  You then take the stuff home, boil it, strain it, and drink it.  Mmmmm, bug skins!
I have used several different traditional remedies for various ailments.  There is one for the common cold, that tastes horrible, but is quite effective.  It relieves the symptoms and the cold doesn't seem to linger as long.
My back remedy was assembled, and I was instructed to boil it for 20 minutes, then add one ingredient that looked like flower petals, strain it, add one good shot of baijiu, and drink.  It didn't taste as bad as the cold remedy.  I felt a little drunk, very relaxed and went to bed.  I woke up 3 hours later and felt like I was well on the road to healing.
The next morning I went to the acupuncturist and got my back stabbed.  I had another dose of my feel good meds, and another good nap.
In 3 days I was much better.

Welcome Back, White Boy

I’ve been back in China almost a month now.  It seems longer, but I’m not sure why.  Maybe it’s the intensity of the place.  A lot more lives are being lived here than in the US.  It kind of fills up the cosmic ether more.

I could just be the constant honking of horns.  In the 6 weeks I spent in the US I maybe heard a horn being honked once or twice. I once sat at a bus stop here, closed my eyes and counted the seconds between honks.  I made it to 12 seconds once.

A More Adventurous Trip to Hong Kong

I used to enjoy the bus trip to Hong Kong.  It was a leisurely 8 hour trip with a stop every two hours, a real 10 course lunch in a restaurant with fellow bus passengers, an easy hop through a spacious, well staffed customs hall and ending a mere two subway stops from our hotel right about dinner time. Then the Rat Bastards who own the bus company changed the schedule.
This is a frequent occurance in China.  Often when something is enjoyable, convenient or just plain nice, it gets changed.  For example, Wal Mart, a mere 10 minute walk from our apartment, had a free standing cooler filled with many different import beers-- San Miguel, Heineken, Carlsburg.  This is not a common practice, since most Chinese don't care if their beer is the same temperature as their armpits or not.  So if you want a cold beer that isn't Chinese, it involves foresight and planning, going to the store in advance and getting the warm beer off the shelf and putting it in the freezer and waiting for it to get to a civilized temperature.  On a hot, Sunday afternoon, we decided some cold San Miguel would be nice.  Upon arriving at Wal Mart, or course the cooler was full of juice and milk tea, and the only import beer in the other beer cooler is the one beer you can drink warm-- Guinness.  
My favorite bread at the bakery, which I bought daily, discontinued.  Stoli at 10 bucks a bottle, can't find it anymore.  Favorite bus trip--Changed!!!
The bus left Zhanjiang at 8:30 am daily.  Another bus left Hong Kong at 8:30 am daily.  Some brilliant bean counter at the bus company realized that what they were using two buses for what could be done with one bus, so now the trip to Hong Kong leaves at 11:30 at night.  So instead of a pleasant ride enjoying the Guangdong countryside, you spend the night trying to sleep upright, arriving in the most crowded city in the world with lots of luggage and no sleep at 7:30 am, then waiting another 7 hours or so until you check in at your hotel.
We opted for a different travel route.  We took the bus to Shenzhen, the city just over the border from Hong Kong.   It left at 9:30 am.  It's a longer, more complicated journey but hey, you don't have to spend the night on a bus!  
The journey started well.  We discovered, to our delight, that the nasty Third World style Zhanjiang bus station had been replaced by a modern, airy, facility, and that our bus was a modern, spacious vehicle with very nice seats.  Then the trip got more Third World.  Fortunately, I had the foresight to travel in a slightly dehydrated mode, since there is no loo on the modern bus and  they didn't stop until about 4 1/2 hours later when it was lunch time.
I use the word "lunch" rather loosely, and what we were fed, although free, was not something that I would choose in the future.  It's what I call "shunmuh on rice", "shunmuh" being the phonetic equivalent for "what's this?" in Mandarin.  The rice was nasty too, low grade, room temperature and served in a Styrofoam container with some pickled veggies.
Of course, to stimulate our appetites we first dashed into the men's room, which was best experienced with rubber boots and a respirator.  Since I had neither, and was wearing sandals I had a more "cultural" experience.  It's amazing how quickly one can pee when one puts their mind to it.  One of our fellow travelers got to enjoy a #2 experience consisting of squatting over a large communal trough with a token trickle of water flowing through it,  in view of everyone.  This was a restroom that the guidebooks warn you about, but that seems to have fallen out of fashion in more advanced areas of the country.  We were so fortunate to be able to enjoy this disappearing relic from the Cultural Revolution.
We were given 20 minutes to take care of  the business of relieving and feeding ourselves, and we managed to complete it in 10, since 75 seconds was all that was required in the loo, and it only took a few bites of lunch to kill our appetites.  However the smokers, which consisted of virtually all the men, took this opportunity to chain smoke because they knew they had another 4 hours of non stop bus riding ahead of them.
The last couple of hours of the trip were spent crawling and stopping though traffic.  This is a very populous part of the world.  Shenzhen has 20 million people, and its neighboring city Guangzhou has another 20 million.  There's also Hong Kong and many other cities, and way too many cars with bad drivers.
Once we arrived at the bus station in Shenzhen, we still had to get to the train station that connects you to Hong Kong.  It's about a 30 minute taxi ride.  So we got to experience a very different traffic situation from Zhanjiang.
About a year and a half ago, the leaders of this city got sick and tired of the motorbike anarchy and completely banned all motorbikes, gas and electric.  The result is much more civilized traffic.  Apparently this has freed the police up to enforce other things like littering laws.  We saw virtually no litter.  And it seems as though the city leaders use some of the money garnered from construction fees to invest in infrastructure since the sidewalks had no holes, and the intersections had traffic signals.
The train station is a little more of a relic, and could use a bit of an upgrade, since it is used by zillions of people who commute between Hong Kong and Shenzhen.  We got behind a large group of Taiwanese college kids who were on some kind of tour and got to wait for a long time while the one customs clerk processed them all.
Since I had been running on not enough sleep for several days, I was beginning to feel a bit fatigued.  We finally got through and got seats on the commuter train going into Hong Kong.  After 45 minutes we reached the end of the line, only a couple of subway stops to our hotel!  But wait, the exit gate to the concourse  wouldn't open when we inserted our tickets.  After inquiring at the ticket desk we were told we would need to backtrack about 8 stops, change trains then go another 6 stops.  Lovely!  Even though this system was designed by the Brits, the Chinese have been in control long enough to make it more interesting.
After another 45 minutes on the subway, we finally arrived, two short blocks to our hotel nearly 12 hours after leaving our apartment.
The day's travel glitches were cured by an excellent seafood dinner and several cold San Miguels.
I think that in the future, when going to Hong Kong, I will opt for the direct night bus.

Lucky Birthday!

We were enjoying a nice plate of noodles in the neighborhood noodle place at noon today.  The temperature was in the 90’s with about 50% humidity, which is pretty typical for this time of year, and we were sweating happily under the ceiling fan, slurping up great hand made noodles.  A pregnant woman came in, probably in her 7^th or 8^th month, and I automatically thought, “Lucky Baby!”.  Lucky Baby, because it would probably be born in August, the 8^th month, and 8 is a very lucky number.  It was not by accident that the Beijing Olympics started on August 8, 2008.

I began to wonder if this upcoming kid wasn’t planned to be an August baby.  Believe it or not, there are women here who do their damnedest to have a kid in August, using whatever means available, and willingly enduring a summertime third trimester in sweltering heat, just to make sure that kid has an extra leg up in the fierce, competitive, modern China. 

Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain

We have been having a lot of rain the past two months.  It’s great for the rice crop, and has produced a bumper crop of mosquitoes and other biting insects.  A pleasant walk through the park provides a feast for the families of microscopic bugs that leave lovely, itching welts the lower extremities.  Fortunately, they disappear rather quickly.  Anti itching cream is an important part of my medicine cabinet.