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The Super Bowl was broadcast live at 7 am today (Monday because we live in the future). I rolled out of bed at 7:30, found the right channel, got a cup of tea and began to watch. I lacked beer, nachos, dips, cheese, salami, salsa, chips, and all the other fat based snacks vital for the true Super Bowl Experience, but I still enjoyed the game. For one thing, it's the only football game of the year that is broadcast on Chinese TV. We have NBA but no NFL, so it's a real treat to see my favorite sport on something other than Youtube highlights.
It's a surreal experience. You have Chinese announcers and they manage to dim the crowd noise so that it's just a kind of muffled white noise. The commercials are the same lame ads you see any time, but they are not as frequent. Instead they show some cool hi-light films. No problem there.
I hate the Steelers. I've always hated them, but that Neanderthal rapist douche Roethlisberger adds a nice extra dose of loathing to my feelings about this team. Sometimes rooting against a team is just as meaningful as rooting for one.
Plus, I've always liked the Packers.
The Chinese announcers really knew their football and they did a bang up job pronouncing Big Douche Ben's last name correctly (although "Loathisboogah" would have been OK by me). It was great to hear them say "Aiiyoh!" when an interception was thrown, which happened a couple of times by The Teutonic Twerp. He dug them a pretty good hole, then a couple of key Packers got injured, the receivers forgot how to catch for a while, and Pig Pen managed to get them within spitting distance a couple of times, but sometimes God does get involved in a football game, and Mr. Molester and his pack of thugs just couldn't pull it off. They ate some crow in front of the cameras and slunk back to their vermin ridden lairs to lick their wounds, nurse their over inflated egos and try to justify their over hyped existences to themselves. The harder they come, the harder they fall. You can run, but you can't hide. Hasta la vista, baby.
Game over. I'm not bloated or drunk, and having the team you most despise lose the Super Bowl is almost as good as having your favorite team win.
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